Thursday, May 24, 2012

Keeping it all together!

Wow!  This last month has been super busy.  We've had something going on every week and I am doing my best to manage.  Between graduations, recitals, spring concerts, a beautiful wedding, school programs, training classes at work, potluck, and conferences - I am tapped out!  Just a little stressed trying to get it all in..  I want to eat healthy but it's hard when you don't have enough time or in some cases you just don't take the time to accomplish everything required.  I am not giving up, just thinking.  I don't know how to keep this up some days.  I feel like eating something that's good - M&Ms, Pizza, anything milk chocolate...Yum!

About three years ago I decided to eat chocolate often.  Not because I didn't have any other options, but because it's what I wanted.  As time went by, I continued to eat chocolate.  Anytime a life altering event occurred, I wanted chocolate even more.  It had gotten to the point where I reached for my comfort foods - cheese and chocolate every single day.  The year 2011 became the "I'll just eat chocolate no matter what" year replacing one chocolate brand for another.  I am not sure why I was doing this to myself, but figured out the hard way that it wasn't good for me. 

Although my thoughts have changed, I have to ask myself why good food for me is chocolate or cheese.  I just love it!  I can smell it and taste it!  A coworker brought in 5 Guys french fries and a burger last week.  I could smell that thing from across the room!  I mean my nose literally searched every cubicle until I found that cheeseburger!  It's like my sense of smell for foods that I've been avoiding has gone crazy over the last few months!  We made treat sacs filled with chocolate for my kid's teachers and the smell of milk chocolate took me back to the good old days.  Amazing what smell can do for ya!

Chocolate is great in moderation, but for a 5"2 woman, it's NOT an everyday choice!  Because of my weight gain, cholesterol, elevated blood sugar, and not to mention genetics; I realized I wasn't doing a great job taking care of myself at all.  I felt like if I could eat those foods all day long, I would be so -----.  I don't even know what word to use because it really wasn't doing a whole lot for me.  It's like yelling at someone and feeling bad afterwards.  There's no satisfaction as much as you thought there would be when you started...  I will say that was the old me.  Although the thought is there; it's not my style anymore.  As much as I want to indulge I really don't want to indulge.  It is true that once you go through 21 days with or without something you feel strongly about accomplishing or changing, you will make a difference in your life!  I refuse to let food be my reason for living...I will always choose to eat to live!

I need my Lord, my Savior's help!  I've slacked off on my prayers for myself over the last few weeks because through the help of my sisters and brothers in Christ, so much of what I needed had been answered.  I do know I cannot do this alone.  The fact that I am sitting here writing about my experience, holding my self accountable isn't enough.  It's through Him that I am able to succeed in life.  If I could just remember that every second of every day, I could accomplish so much more.  I will lift my eyes to Him and ask for grace and mercy as I go forward.

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say on the Lord. (Psalm 27:14 KJV)

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mama, I love you!

Dear Mama,

You loved me as you carried me in the womb.  I always knew it was you - my head turned when you entered a room.  Your voice was the first I was able to hear so I always knew when you were near.  Your touch so gentle and kind.  Your eyes smile and look just like mine.  As you held me close always there, your heart beat quietly in my ear.  Today and everyday I am happy to call you Mother.  You're the best and like none other...

Just remembering the days gone by, everyday I would ask you why.  A curious child I was, always questions just because.  You held me closely when I felt bad.  Always getting rid of anything sad.  You're truly the heart of a family.  Even when there is no Daddy.  You kept us fed.  You read to us when it was time for bed.  You're grandkids know there's nothing that you can't do, they say "Just call my Nan Nan, she knows what to do".  Today and everyday I am happy to call you Mother.  You're the best and like none other...

You took the time to check my skinned knee.  You understand that I like to sit and just be.  Through the years as I cried,  you stood by my side.  You knew there would be better days to come.  You knew I would get through that one.  There were so many times when I didn't want to try and you said kiss those times good bye.  Focus on what's good and true.   You can only be the best you.  Today and everyday I am happy to call you Mother.  You're the best and like none other...

Although He's given me life and that's everything, you taught me that it's still okay to dream.  As I walked across the stage on that special day, you looked at me with a smile in your own special way.  So proud of my accomplishments looking back wondering where the time went.  Watching the grandkids that you hold seeing that new love feed our souls.  Your kind words are all I ever need.  Gently whispering Jesus is the King of Kings.  Who knew what I could be.  Mama, you always knew I would succeed.  You're the one who knows me and loves me for me.  You know my Father has a journey paved so I should just wait and see.  God has truly blessed me indeed.  God has the best plans for me and a part of those plans is a Mother as true as can be.

Today and everyday I am happy to call you Mother. You're the best and like none other. ~JourneywithJennifer~

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Finally - Progress!

Me Today!

Me, March 17!

It's been 8 weeks now and I feel better after seeing some results!  So far I've lost a little over 10 pounds!  I am excited and plan to continue on even after the contest at work is over.  I've also learned a few things about myself over the last few weeks and feel like that will help me through life in general as long as I recognize the signs.

1.  I am  and will continue doing a better job with my eating.  I have been pretty successful in keeping healthier foods around versus my go to foods when I am on the run-  fast food restaurants anyone.  I am not saying there aren't any healthy menu options.  I can eat a nice salad at McDonalds.  My issue is when I don't take out the time to stop and I am on the go that I don't make great choices!

2.  I cut back on the amount of food that I eat.  I have had my fav - chick fil a, but not too much.  If I am in a pinch, I eat half the amount of food and save calories and fat!  I fill up quicker and that's something I have to remember when eating any meal.  I have to listen to my body when it says "I've had enough".

3.  On the other hand, I still need to watch my calorie intake.  Some days I don't feel hungry and skip meals because I have a snack that "fills me up".  I need to ensure I eat at least 1200 calories a day to keep this healthy lifestyle going...

4.  Then again, on days when I am on my game, I eat more often.  I snack on dry roasted peanuts most days.  I also have yogurt and fruit.  If I wait until I am really hungry, it's easier to just say oh well and blow it for the day.  As long as I can remember to plan ahead, I can be successful. 

-- My niece got married this weekend.  We had to arrive prior to the ceremony for pictures.  I took my Special K Cereal and Yogurt for snacks.  I also had water.  I didn't feel any urge to eat a cheeseburger or fried chicken!

5. I have great support!  My family, friends, and coworkers are all there when I need them.  I love that we can suppport each other, be happy for each other and be competitive at the same time. 

--Sometimes I forget to ask for help.  I try to do it all myself when I should really just let someone know that I am in need of their help.

6.  I am not drinking enough water.  I don't get enough sleep at night; therefore all I want is to have caffiene throughout the day to keep me going.  I can break this habit!  I started this journey drinking more water than diet sodas.  I have to find my way back to the routine of wanting and drinking more water throughout the day.  I can do this - I've done it before.  Not sure I'm convinced!

7. I am realizing that I shouldn't be so hard on myself.  I definitely saw after my last post that I was starting to get down on myself.  I was up and down on the weight and I also had to stop my exercising!  My knee has been sore for a few weeks and after taking a break, it's much better.  This has been bothering me, but you know I have to claim the victory.  I know there are people praying for me because once I asked for those prayers, I started feeling better immediately. 

God is good all the time.  All the time, God is good.