Wow! Today's message at church was awesome! Our pastor encouraged us all to
be available to God and to use our abilities to glorify God's Kingdom! I don't
know if we ever truly think about what we can do right now, today, right where
we are for God! I know we all talk about being in a better place and being in
the right frame of mind.
We're all taught at such a young age that when you come to God, you must be
all the way in, no playing or pretending. It sounded like you had to be perfect
or He would strike you dead. Like, BOOM DEAD. No questions. He sounded so
harsh, like that one person who you couldn't embarrass or shame because you had
to follow whatever He said. I didn't hear about the grace or the mercy...
I remember being in college and buying a key ring that had the name Jesus on
it and being told by a friend that I needed to be careful.
She said that I shouldn't be playing. Well,
unfortunately for me, that was one of many experiences for me after being saved
where someone made me feel doubts about who I was and where I was going. It's
true, I was young and unsure and not really certain of how to act or how to be
or who to be...
I remember being saved at 19 singing songs and talking to my parents about
Jesus. They were so proud of me. My Aunt Linda, BF's Mom, had said that I
needed to be there all the time and not away at college. I didn't understand
then that I needed a good church home. While away at school, I was left to fend
for myself, so I thought and didn't really know what I was doing...I needed a
mentor or a good Pastor, or even just a nice church member to help me along.
MORE IMPORTANT than that, I needed to call on Jesus Himself to keep me home.
Instead, I turned away thinking that I wasn't ready or that I didn't know
enough about Him or know enough about His word - He who became flesh...
Cannot really say I got this at home, because I didn't. I am not sure I even
asked. I knew that my life should be different. I know that Mama said to know
the Lord's Prayer - a model from Jesus. She said I should know the 23rd Psalm.
My Mudear said I should read the 27th Psalm if I was ever afraid. My Dad, the Sunday
school teacher said to read the books found in the Bible written by the Apostle
Paul. Romans 10:9-10 gave me the words and the understanding of all required to
be His forever.
I had the words to spend
all eternity in God's House - That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus
is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you
will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified,
and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
The more I read, listened, learned, and heard about Jesus, something in me
told me there’s more.
I knew that He had
a destiny for me and it wasn't about that indescribable feeling of joy I felt
knowing I was saved. You see, I knew that Jesus loved me. I was HAPPY and had
JOY beyond what I could ever imagine. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know how
to go to HIM and ask to be led by Him. I believed, but I didn't know how to
live in my belief.
I must admit that I did know how to pray and to ask for what I needed. I
wore out a few bible pages over the years with all my stuff....Today my soul
tells me that I am connected to Him and that I am His. I know He has a purpose
for me and that He wants me to find my way in Him. I would love to tell my
parents what I do know because of what they taught me, what I didn't realize so
long ago..His plans
... It was about me knowing my true purpose in life, to know Him.
