Sunday, July 1, 2012
Being Available to use My Abilities...For Him
Wow! Today's message at church was awesome! Our pastor encouraged us all to be available to God and to use our abilities to glorify God's Kingdom! I don't know if we ever truly think about what we can do right now, today, right where we are for God! I know we all talk about being in a better place and being in the right frame of mind.
We're all taught at such a young age that when you come to God, you must be all the way in, no playing or pretending. It sounded like you had to be perfect or He would strike you dead. Like, BOOM DEAD. No questions. He sounded so harsh, like that one person who you couldn't embarrass or shame because you had to follow whatever He said. I didn't hear about the grace or the mercy...
I remember being in college and buying a key ring that had the name Jesus on it and being told by a friend that I needed to be careful. She said that I shouldn't be playing. Well, unfortunately for me, that was one of many experiences for me after being saved where someone made me feel doubts about who I was and where I was going. It's true, I was young and unsure and not really certain of how to act or how to be or who to be...
I remember being saved at 19 singing songs and talking to my parents about Jesus. They were so proud of me. My Aunt Linda, BF's Mom, had said that I needed to be there all the time and not away at college. I didn't understand then that I needed a good church home. While away at school, I was left to fend for myself, so I thought and didn't really know what I was doing...I needed a mentor or a good Pastor, or even just a nice church member to help me along. MORE IMPORTANT than that, I needed to call on Jesus Himself to keep me home. Instead, I turned away thinking that I wasn't ready or that I didn't know enough about Him or know enough about His word - He who became flesh...
Cannot really say I got this at home, because I didn't. I am not sure I even asked. I knew that my life should be different. I know that Mama said to know the Lord's Prayer - a model from Jesus. She said I should know the 23rd Psalm. My Mudear said I should read the 27th Psalm if I was ever afraid. My Dad, the Sunday school teacher said to read the books found in the Bible written by the Apostle Paul. Romans 10:9-10 gave me the words and the understanding of all required to be His forever. I had the words to spend all eternity in God's House - That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
The more I read, listened, learned, and heard about Jesus, something in me told me there’s more. I knew that He had a destiny for me and it wasn't about that indescribable feeling of joy I felt knowing I was saved. You see, I knew that Jesus loved me. I was HAPPY and had JOY beyond what I could ever imagine. Unfortunately for me, I didn't know how to go to HIM and ask to be led by Him. I believed, but I didn't know how to live in my belief.
I must admit that I did know how to pray and to ask for what I needed. I wore out a few bible pages over the years with all my stuff....Today my soul tells me that I am connected to Him and that I am His. I know He has a purpose for me and that He wants me to find my way in Him. I would love to tell my parents what I do know because of what they taught me, what I didn't realize so long ago..His plans
... It was about me knowing my true purpose in life, to know Him.